Thee one and only Big Wang has arrived.
Mar 22, 2016 16:06:34 GMT
Nikki Micheals and Trixie like this
Post by Deleted on Mar 22, 2016 16:06:34 GMT
So Canada sucks....Let's just leave that out there for a second for the World to mull over. Turns out Canada is full of Canadians and Buford " Thee Big Wang" King doesn't like Canadians. To be honest he doesn't like anyone too much unless they are a Chick that might for some disturbed reason let him bang them....Otherwise, you all suck and he just wants to be paid and left alone.
Now that we have established that Canada Sucks and has too many Canadians in it. We can see why Buford King left that place who GIVES titles to pasty face Albinos to take a job with Valentine Wrestling Syndicate. So ole Buford loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly--err Las Vegas. The city that makes Sin legal, the city with Hookers galore, gambling, booze, fifty cent steaks. It was like the place was built with the premonition that someday Buford King would be born and this would be his Mecca.
Buford had kind of snuck away from Canada and his prize piece Ashley Lynn after a pretty severe fight over him whacking off Thee Big Wang and making a bit of a mess, but to Buford's defense if you didn't want to get a dirty face you shouldn't fall asleep on the Couch.
Now that we have established that Canada Sucks and has too many Canadians in it. We can see why Buford King left that place who GIVES titles to pasty face Albinos to take a job with Valentine Wrestling Syndicate. So ole Buford loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly--err Las Vegas. The city that makes Sin legal, the city with Hookers galore, gambling, booze, fifty cent steaks. It was like the place was built with the premonition that someday Buford King would be born and this would be his Mecca.
Buford had kind of snuck away from Canada and his prize piece Ashley Lynn after a pretty severe fight over him whacking off Thee Big Wang and making a bit of a mess, but to Buford's defense if you didn't want to get a dirty face you shouldn't fall asleep on the Couch.
Anywayyy, Ashley kicked him out, the Company he was working for was GIVING away stuff to those that buried their tongues in the proper Anus, and Buford just wasn't into that unless it is a Chick and she believes in good hygiene. So he took the job in Vegas, found a little place in the middle of the Desert that was pretty cheap because they use to test Bombs or something here and Big Wang Ranch was born.
That is where we arrive today to find Buford outside amusing himself since those lying chicks over at VWS promised to send a chick and five bucks for gas to fill up the Sweet Ass Moped, and of course, chicks lie and no one showed. So Buford was amusing himself in other ways.
The camera pans around showing the crudely built shack that is apparently Buford's new home with a huge Satellite Dish hanging off the side of it haphazardly...I mean the man has to have his Internet and television...He isn't Amish!
The camera continues to slowly pan around over the barren sand with the Cameraman jerking away when Thee Big Wang Warrior, Buford King comes running up in one of his rather unique outfits...Scooby Doo Boxers, Rubber boots, a blanket for a cape, and his Poseidon-style Trident. Yes, this man is not exactly all there and could and will be very dangerous to those that don't amuse him or have a Honey Pot AKA a Beaver Hatch AKA Hot Dog Warmer AKA Verginey, AKA...Oh, you get the point.
" Valentine Wrestling, Lasssss Vegasss, Whoressss....I have arrived!!. Thee Big Wang has left the home of Albinos and guys that sound like John Goodman to come to the home of Chicks with Big Knockers, Wayne Newton, and all you can eat Buffets. I will reign supreme over VWS and every chick will be dropping panties at the very sight of the Big Wang on his way towards them."
Buford raises his trident in the air letting out a loud War Cry that kinda sounds like he is yodeling mixed with the Goofy yell when that silly Dog would fall off something. Buford leans in towards the camera, smiling .
" I know you all are thinking I am just crazy and will be easy to push over, look over, or run over on your way to the top of VWS. But be very, very clear with yourselves. When that bell rings at the very first VWS show. Whoever is pitted against me will be needing some serious Obamacare after I am through. The fun and games come to an end when money is on the line. I need money for booze, women, and to trick out my already Sweet Ass Moped. So if you mess with me getting paid by getting in my way....Well, things aren't going to go well for you in VWS. Remember there is only one Big Wang Buford King, and you are blessed to have me...You're Welcome"
The camera pans around showing the crudely built shack that is apparently Buford's new home with a huge Satellite Dish hanging off the side of it haphazardly...I mean the man has to have his Internet and television...He isn't Amish!
The camera continues to slowly pan around over the barren sand with the Cameraman jerking away when Thee Big Wang Warrior, Buford King comes running up in one of his rather unique outfits...Scooby Doo Boxers, Rubber boots, a blanket for a cape, and his Poseidon-style Trident. Yes, this man is not exactly all there and could and will be very dangerous to those that don't amuse him or have a Honey Pot AKA a Beaver Hatch AKA Hot Dog Warmer AKA Verginey, AKA...Oh, you get the point.
" Valentine Wrestling, Lasssss Vegasss, Whoressss....I have arrived!!. Thee Big Wang has left the home of Albinos and guys that sound like John Goodman to come to the home of Chicks with Big Knockers, Wayne Newton, and all you can eat Buffets. I will reign supreme over VWS and every chick will be dropping panties at the very sight of the Big Wang on his way towards them."
Buford raises his trident in the air letting out a loud War Cry that kinda sounds like he is yodeling mixed with the Goofy yell when that silly Dog would fall off something. Buford leans in towards the camera, smiling .
" I know you all are thinking I am just crazy and will be easy to push over, look over, or run over on your way to the top of VWS. But be very, very clear with yourselves. When that bell rings at the very first VWS show. Whoever is pitted against me will be needing some serious Obamacare after I am through. The fun and games come to an end when money is on the line. I need money for booze, women, and to trick out my already Sweet Ass Moped. So if you mess with me getting paid by getting in my way....Well, things aren't going to go well for you in VWS. Remember there is only one Big Wang Buford King, and you are blessed to have me...You're Welcome"
Buford looks around suspiciously " Oh and if you see Ashley Lynn, don't tell her where I am. She might still be mad about that messy face moment." Buford shakes his head side to side "Women!"
Buford shrugs his shoulders " Anyway, away to my chariot...I got b*tches to give the Wang Bang Thang too, and Money to make"
Buford runs off, leaping onto his Moped and shooting off across the dirt road he calls home now. He hits something on the road with the Sweet Ass Moped going wobbly and crashing into the Sand with Buford letting out a tirade of expletives. " Damnnnnn youuuu rockssss!!"
End....Just a starter to the hijinks of Buford, and hopefully soon Aly-Cat AKA Ashley will be joining VWS too.
Buford shrugs his shoulders " Anyway, away to my chariot...I got b*tches to give the Wang Bang Thang too, and Money to make"
Buford runs off, leaping onto his Moped and shooting off across the dirt road he calls home now. He hits something on the road with the Sweet Ass Moped going wobbly and crashing into the Sand with Buford letting out a tirade of expletives. " Damnnnnn youuuu rockssss!!"
End....Just a starter to the hijinks of Buford, and hopefully soon Aly-Cat AKA Ashley will be joining VWS too.